Building confidence with therapy

There’s a lot of pressure these days to capture every moment - every meal, every trip, every gathering - sometimes it can feel overwhelming. Having watched several people I love live with dementia or fading memories, I’ve come to realise that photos matter in a deeply human way. They’re not about perfection or performance; they’re simply proof that we were here. When life allows it, step into the frame. Be present in the pictures that will one day tell your story.

Our bodies carry us through every experience we ever have. Skin, bones, heart, lungs, brain - everything works quietly in the background while we laugh, grieve, love, struggle, grow, and endure. Each ordinary day and each extraordinary moment is lived through this body that continues to show up for us. And yet, for many people, a lack of confidence about how they look becomes a powerful barrier. Negative body image, low self-esteem, comparison to others, or simply not feeling “good enough” can make us shy away from cameras. We duck out of group shots, insist on being the one who takes the photo, or disappear entirely from the visual record of our own lives. What starts as discomfort can become a habit - one that slowly erases us from the memories we share with others.

For many years, that was my reality. I avoided the camera at all costs, convinced that I needed to look a certain way to deserve to be photographed. I worried about angles, wrinkles, weight, lighting - all the tiny details that seem so huge in the moment. I believed that if I didn’t meet some invisible standard, the safest thing to do was hide. At the time it felt natural, even sensible, but it came from that quiet, painful place of self-criticism. I was never satisfied enough with myself to allow my image to be captured.

Now, looking back over almost sixty years of life, I realise just how few photos I am actually in. There are celebrations where I know I was present, but I don’t appear in a single image. There are holidays, gatherings, ordinary afternoons, and milestones where my presence lives only in memory - and memory is fragile. The sadness that comes with that is subtle but real. It isn’t about vanity or ego; it’s about absence. The record of my life is missing pieces, not because the moments weren’t meaningful, but because I felt I didn’t belong in the frame.

What strikes me most is that the issue was never my appearance. The real loss was my presence — the fact that I wasn’t willing to be seen as I truly was in that moment. When we avoid the camera, we deny not just ourselves, but also the people who love us. In the future, they won’t care about the things we worried about so fiercely. They won’t zoom in on imperfections. They’ll simply want to see our face and remember how it felt to be together.

These days, my perspective has shifted. I step into photos whenever I can. Not because I suddenly think I look perfect, but because I’ve realised that perfection was never the point. A photo is a record of being there - tired, joyful, messy, ordinary, human. It’s a way of honouring the fact that life continues to unfold and that I am still part of it. I treasure the images I do have, and I want there to be more - not just for me, but for the people who will remember me long after the moment has passed.

So if you find yourself shrinking away when a camera appears, be gentle with yourself - but also consider what you might be losing. Your life, exactly as it is right now, is worth being seen. The soft lines of age, the laughter crinkles, the body that has carried you through all your experiences - they’re not flaws. They’re your story written in visible form.

And if your lack of confidence feels deep-rooted or difficult to change, counselling can be a powerful support.

Talking with a trained counsellor can help you understand where those self-critical beliefs come from, process past experiences that shaped how you see yourself, and gently build a healthier, kinder relationship with your body and your identity. Over time, therapy can help you develop the confidence to be seen - not just in photos, but in life as a whole. You deserve to take up space in your own memories, and you don’t have to work through that journey alone. Contact me now, let's talk.